I'm not usually one to be in front of the camera, so when Adam Sawatsky contacted me about doing a piece, I was veeeeerrrryyy nervous.
The subject? 
Googly eyes.

My hobby of putting googly eyes isn't something I share much publicly -- I mostly do it for me as a way to try to balance out life -- but after Adam told me he found joy when seeing the images I shared, it took some of those nerves away... so share it I will! 

We met up this week at my studio for the interview and to play with googly eyes... and we also caught up. Many moons ago I was a tv producer of a live morning show at A-Channel (which became CTV) and Adam was one of our on-air hosts. He nailed it every single time because he is genuinely is interested in other people's lives, he's very easy to talk to, and though I knew his tricks for disarming a nervous guest, they some how worked and I was able to relax... sort of.

Our story aired yesterday on his Sawatsky Sign-Off segment on CTV News locally, and then apparently it showed up on the national version later that evening (gah!)

In any event, I finally watched it today and am thankful to Adam for making some sense from the plethora of words as they tumbled out of my mouth. He managed to tie in my advocacy photography, so a few adoptable friends are in there too!

Here's the link to the piece. You can watch it, read it...or both!
https://vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca/saanich-woman-takes-joyful-photos-of-eyes-in-unexpected-places-1.6515398
Because Faceboook no longer allows news links, this is the only way I can share it

Sweet Bear is just that a sweet, floofy bear.
His fur is soft and shiny.
His eyes are bright, though you can see he's spent some years on this earth. 
He's kind and gentle. He offers his paw, though no one asks that of him. 
Especially now.

Sweet Bear has lymphoma and is now nearing the end of his time in this world.
His days now are about managing the fun stuff he wants to do with what he can actually do, all without tuckering him out too much. 
Sharing treats without giving him an upset tummy.
A bucket list not written in stone.

April doesn't let him out of her sight.

We kept his session short and took time to chat afterwards while Bear snuggled up to me on the plush rug and got the loves he asked for.

I'd met him briefly through a car window last year and then today.
But that's the beauty of Bear. 
When he makes friends, you feel it.
And I did.

Thank you to Bear's family for helping him along this part of his journey with love, respect and grace.
​And for allowing me to share a little piece of him here.
​
The last image is the front cover of the custom monograph I provided so that Bear's family can visit his session photos in a book format.

​xo

Click here for more on my Before I Go pet sessions.

As the first week of August is already gone, I figured I should an update from July... but then I realized I haven't really shared any updates from June, May, April...

Well, it's not been an easy spring into summer...
After my March 31 post, I was going to take some time to regroup, but in May, my nephew -- the 21-year-old son of my brother and sister-in-law, little brother to my niece --  was tragically killed and it rocked our family to the core.
And at almost three months later, time isn't necessarily healing, it's just providing time to try to live with a type of grief I've never known before.

But I know that photography is something that I need to do. It's a therapeutic tool that forces me to focus, literally, on whatever's in front of my lens. Maybe there are moments of grief-avoidance, but what is the right way to feel what you're feeling? What does 'managing grief' look like to each person who's in the throes of it? I've been reading a lot about it and talking to anyone who'll listen and the one common theme that appears is there's nothing common about it. It's not linear, there's every other emotion involved in it. 

So when I was ready to pick up my camera again, I stayed close to home and just went out to my garden. On the day a memorial tree would be planted for my nephew, I took my camera along. Not knowing if I would bring it out, I decided to and I'm thankful I did. It helped me connect with that event and with most days being a blur, it's part of the literal photographic memory being created. 

When June arrived it was my dad's 93rd birthday. No one felt like celebrating, but we came together for cake and companionship. I also photographed some new-into-care sled dog retirees, as well as some cats I was looking after across the street. Again, only choosing subjects that I felt I could handle. 

Slowly, I ventured further out and encountered more people. Some adoptable bunnies, a bulldog meet up. Animals being safer than human subjects.

Then in mid-July we headed out on a road trip to Saskatchewan to visit my husband's sister, brother and extended family to hold a memorial for their father who passed away last September. While out there I made time for a couple jobs with people I knew I was comfortable with, but mostly I spent time in my own world amongst the farm, the horses and the landscape, camera in hand, documenting the trip.

Once back from our trip there was a hockey tournament in memory of my nephew - lots of people and once again being forced to confront what happened. But there was comfort in that group, of being around people who spent so much time with Dayton. 

Anxiety and grief are still hovering at the surface of my being and I'm still pretty much sticking with non-human subjects, but photography is doing what it does for me. Between adoption advocacy sessions and end-of-life pet sessions, I'm finding more solid footing.

If you've read this far, thank you. There's always that feeling of oversharing, but this is me... where I'm at. I love doing what I do here and look forward to trying out some new ideas this fall. 

My nephew, Dayton, was a total ham and he was never shy when I turned my camera on him, so for that I am grateful. The lessons I've learned from his easy-going nature is helping me learn to "roll with it" a bit more. So, thanks Dayter.

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