I bought a new camera last week, then returned it the next day because the lens stopped working. 
It was smaller and lighter and meant to be easier on my body - the days of lugging heavy cameras and lenses around are numbered for me sadly.

Long story short, I decided not to get a replacement, but now I'm second guessing that decision. It ticked a lot of boxes on my wishlist, but it's kind of taking a step backwards in the gear world in some respects. And I didn't fall in love with it when I took that first image like I've done when pressing that shutter release for the first time on my other cameras.
As well as the camera tech stuff I take into account when photographing, there's also a connected feeling I get. It may be a wee bit different, depending on which camera I use, but it's always there, no matter what camera I'm using. I didn't feel it during that short visit and I questioned if it will ever come? 
I know photography isn't just about the camera -- there's knowledge of the gear, the gear itself (camera bodies, lenses, filters), the human behind the lens, their unique perspective to their subject, post processing, etc. - reminding me of a story:

"a photographer goes to a friend's house for dinner and the host says 'you're a wonderful photographer, you must have a fantastic camera!'. At the end of the meal, the photographer says to the host 'what a wonderful meal, you must have a fantastic stove'!"

For now I'm mired in indecision so am sharing some of my test images, to "put them out there and add them into my work" to see if that changes anything for me. Some of the images have had post processing, some not.

Thanks for looking!
~wendy
​

i saw some flowers at the grocery store, i'm quite sure they were dyed yellow, but they were pretty nonetheless
i brought them to my studio where i found a dead bee on the floor under the skylight (sorry little bee)
so i pulled out my bone collection to see what I could do with these three pieces
then i grabbed some green velvety fabric, a piece of wood i'd cut and a few other props i have on hand
and started to work

my studio is in a cottage behind my parent's house
so after a bit i went outside to enlist my dad - who'd been working in the garden - to hold flowers
dad had a desk job for years but he always kept busy doing manual work - gardening, painting, puttering in the yard 
the tint of his forearms reflect his time spent outside this year

​i haven't been to my studio much over the last year because of, well, a bunch of reasons
but there's something that happens when i'm there and get in the flow
it's a very cool feeling
and afterwards when i'm done reviewing and editing the images i made, i have to decide what (and if) i'll share - put out there into the word - and often times i don't because i don't want to be judged, or have to explain my fascination with bones or dark subjects, or confuse people as they wonder why i'm not sharing more images of dogs... or whatever people think (or don't) when they see my work

but it's not about that right now... it's about just getting on with it, creating, and allowing that part of me to just do its thing without judgement... and i'm going to try to share it... or at least put it out there, right here.

thanks for visiting,
w

note - images were taken back on june 3, 2021

I've been feeling like I'm stuck with my photography, but it's probably more like I'm overwhelmed. I have projects that are partially finished but I just can't finish them. I have ideas for shoots and books. Short- and long-term projects... even a wee film. But something just isn't jiving so instead of forcing it, I'm taking a short hiatus.
My garden is proving to be a great diversion too. If given the chance to work in my garden or sit at my computer inside while the sunshines outside, I'm going to head outside.
So while I take a breather, I hope you enjoy some imagery from my ever-changing garden.

Thanks for visiting,
​wendy

i've been spending a lot of time
close to home
using tools in my garden, and my garden as a tool
this is part one.