It was December 20. The day known as "Suzy Day" in our home.
The day our little Suzy passed away in 2013. 
The day I go visit her in our backyard and place a rock on her grave.

But this December 20 I couldn't.

It was so quiet that morning when I woke up. No sound coming from cars on the roads and a different sort of light coming in through the blinds.

Between the cold temperatures, having to dig trenches for our little dog and making sure the bird feeders were well stocked, I planned on spending most of the time hibernating inside.

Except I saw my grasses. Tall and marking the place of that new garden bed. I'd planted them in the front yard so they'd catch the setting sun. I've yet to trim them ever because I love to look at them swaying in the breeze. They are the holdouts. And this day they inspired me to spend a bit more time outside, with camera in hand.

Though ​I didn't venture from my yard.

The snow was light and feathery and I could sweep it with a broom. It landed on the delicate remnants of plants, filled all the nooks of the yard and created a roof over the pet cemetery, seemingly offering extra protection for our missed friends, as well as blanketing Suzy's special resting spot.
It brought contrast and definition to an otherwise monotone yard of lives well-lived and new ones waiting to regenerate, where it stayed for days until the rain and warmth melted it away.

This wasn't a change of season, it was just a change in days... in weather. An opportunity to see my yard with different eyes. 

​An impermanent art installation that vanished as quickly as it arrived.
Reminding me of life's impermanence. 

I bought a new camera last week, then returned it the next day because the lens stopped working. 
It was smaller and lighter and meant to be easier on my body - the days of lugging heavy cameras and lenses around are numbered for me sadly.

Long story short, I decided not to get a replacement, but now I'm second guessing that decision. It ticked a lot of boxes on my wishlist, but it's kind of taking a step backwards in the gear world in some respects. And I didn't fall in love with it when I took that first image like I've done when pressing that shutter release for the first time on my other cameras.
As well as the camera tech stuff I take into account when photographing, there's also a connected feeling I get. It may be a wee bit different, depending on which camera I use, but it's always there, no matter what camera I'm using. I didn't feel it during that short visit and I questioned if it will ever come? 
I know photography isn't just about the camera -- there's knowledge of the gear, the gear itself (camera bodies, lenses, filters), the human behind the lens, their unique perspective to their subject, post processing, etc. - reminding me of a story:

"a photographer goes to a friend's house for dinner and the host says 'you're a wonderful photographer, you must have a fantastic camera!'. At the end of the meal, the photographer says to the host 'what a wonderful meal, you must have a fantastic stove'!"

For now I'm mired in indecision so am sharing some of my test images, to "put them out there and add them into my work" to see if that changes anything for me. Some of the images have had post processing, some not.

Thanks for looking!
~wendy
​

I didn't know what to do at the studio today. I came over with the dogs (Bella, the white dog and Mr Coco, the grey) to get them out of the house. They're both getting on in age and don't want long walks or hikes, so mental stimulation it is. Plus, since my studio is behind my parent's house, they can visit with them too. But as far as work getting done, it's not always a great idea because it usually takes them a bit to settle down and realize we're gonna be here a while. The studio is 4 rooms. One smaller room at one end, then a kitchen with a bathroom next to it in the middle and then up two steps into the main room where I do most of my work. Their little legs follow me back and forth through the rooms as I look for ideas because I have stuff/props everywhere.
Anyways,  this is what I did at the studio today.
A gallery of still lifes - some a bit more alive than others - both inside and out of the studio.

Thanks for visiting,
​wendy